You may be wondering what buying new jeans has to do with turning 27. Bear with me.
Since I ran that pesky marathon back in 2009, I have been pouring myself into size 2 Gap skinny jeans. I love Gap jeans and I will forever be loyal. A size 2, however, is simply not the correct size for me. At one point, when I was running 30 miles per week, it kind of/sort of was. My jeans were a bit tight but after a few days’ wear, they fit perfectly. Fast forward a few years and uhhhh, I split those jeans in July while getting ready to go to dinner. Lunges across the bedroom may or may not have been involved (don’t act like you don’t do it).
What did I do? Duh. I went to Gap and bought another pair of size 2 skinny jeans. Makes sense, right? You should be saying no, no it doesn’t. But anyway, I bought the jeans and continued to wear them. In November I bought two more pairs. Gap changed their sizing so in my defense, I didn’t know if I was buying 2s or 4s, but they were tight and I bought them anyway.
The point of this is that I was obsessed with the size. I didn’t care how the pants looked, or the fact that they were so ridiculously uncomfortable I felt like I was going to die by the end of the day if I had to wear them for one.more.second. All I cared about was the fact that they were a 2, and simply by fitting into them, I felt thin. I was using a jean size to validate myself. Kind of crazy. Kind of really crazy, actually.
Now, how does this relate to turning 27? Well, my 27th birthday is coming up on Thursday and today I bought myself 3 new pairs of jeans. I have finally gotten to the point where I feel comfortable with who I am. No, not every day. Some days I feel fat, or ugly, or gross– all the terrible things I try to never say to myself. Most days, however, I feel confident in myself and my body. I finally decided to let go of the size issue. Who cares what size jeans you wear? First, every store is different. Second, why do I let Gap, or Levi, or whoever, determine how I feel about myself?
To me, the point of clothing (besides that being naked is illegal) is to make you look good and feel good. Squeezing into jeans that are two sizes too small does not do that. Buying clothes that fit, whatever the size, allows you to be confident in the fact that you look amazing. Dress the body you have, not the body you wish you had and probably couldn’t have unless you were also a 13 year old boy. No offense to 13 year old boys.
Sadly, I guess it took almost 27 years to get to this point. But, I’m sure glad I did. I went up two pants sizes today and I survived. I can still run a lot of miles and I’m getting much better at the bootcamp class I (try to) attend 3 days per week. My pants size means nothing.
Just because you wear a 2, a 4, a 6, or a 20, doesn’t mean you are any less fit, attractive, or amazing. I now know that a size doesn’t define me. What a great gift to give myself for my 27th birthday <3
As always, thanks for reading. Xoxo.